Appointments Galore !

One more appt. this friday in Seattle. Great way to start the weekend. At least when I contacted the clinic and left a message for the nurse she got back to me right away. -I asked if we could find out the outcome of the sample friday but she said it would probably be the middle of next week before they knew anything. SERIOUSLY ! I live 4 hrs away. I hope we can see the doctor and see if he can work his magic like last time when we were able to find out the same day.

My birthday came and went-uneventful as usual- 29...one more year and it'll be the dirty 30.

I am still in this slump and can't seem to find away to crawl out of it. My head hurts, my body hurts, and my heart aches. Everyday I just go thru the motions. I am hoping this baby will bring my mood up and get me out of this funk.

Baby Blues

My brother and his wife had a baby on the 16th. A little girl. Anna You-Lan Lau Woodrow. Beautiful baby! I am one PROUD aunt.

--Mom keeps saying it's your turn next. It's my turn next. I wish I could really scream at anyone and everyone and say how hard it is to see everyone else around you get pregnant easily. I know I am not the only one that has had issues getting pregnant but in the time being it feels as if I am the only one in this race to have a baby.

My birthday is about 2 weeks away :S I will be the ripe old age of 29. The dreams of having a kid before 30 are looking pretty slim to none.

I want to sit and scream, cry and kick...My husband does not understand and tell me to relax. I'm sorry but when you have 2 kids already its not the same. I DON'T !!!!!!

ok my pity party is done...

oh depression

I am about ready to give up on this baby chase. I feel like it will never happen. Its been 3 years and I am so ready to throw my hands up and be done. I should be thankful that I have 2 wonderful step sons and a niece on the way. They want chris to do another sample and I am supposed to have blood work done. A whole week went by and 2 phone calls the finical counselor and she called me back. Told me she would take care of everything and not to worry. I am sorry how I am I not supposed to worry when it took a whole week to get back to me. ARRRRGGGGG I wish I could have a baby the natural way

Baby Chase

Chris was very sweet and got me the book "The Baby Chase: An Adventure in Fertility" it is a primer for anyone contemplating or undergoing IVF. More than that, its a story of longing, hope and hormones that will appeal to all parents, present and future. I already feel for this woman. The struggle she has gone thru and I am starting to feel myself slipping into that "what if" scenario again. What if we are unable to have kids? What if I am never able to feel that connection everyone talks about that they have with their children? That special bond.

I love my step kids to death but it's not the same. I didn't get to feel that movement inside me or the elation as I gave birth. I got to know them when they were little babies still but didn't get that immediate bond.

The doctor said we are great candidates for IVF. My age will work will with it. But I am older now and have gained weight. What if it doesn't work ?!?

What if ... What if ... WHAT IF

Waiting

I should have read more into all this IVF...apparently there are MORE test that need to be done on both Chris and I. ANNNND to prepare my body. Preparing my body-sounds like embalming to me hahahahah this will be good. I AM READY ! BRING IT HORMONES AND ALL

WOW im way to excited now

Guess I should have paid a little better to my calendar! next period should be the end of this month ! that is 1 month earlier than expected! whooooo hot dog! I called the financial counselor and wrote and email to the RN at the office to see what the next step is! EEEEEEEKKKKK that made my day hahaha

Our Next Step

I feel I need to write about our experience with infertility and the road we will headed on here in a short while. And there after thru(hopefully) pregnancy !

We met with Dr. Letterie on Friday. It was so nice to have finally put a face with a name. A face and name that will become our savior to this long exhausting road. It was very nice that Dr. Letterie had already spoken with my OB/GYN up here in the Tri-Cities about our situation. He also knows the doctors that I used to work for at Minor and James. We found out that we will go thru IVF and that the soonest that I could possibly start the medication is my next period which is the end of August.

We found out chris has enough swimmers they just don't want to come out the right way. They are going back up into his bladder. Luckily for him he wont have to have any sperm retrieval thru his testies. That was going to be the next option if it didn't look like they could get enough sperm thru the urine.

I always thought my first loan would be for a house. Turns out we will be getting a loan for IVF. That makes me chuckle. The financial counselor also mentioned talking to a credit union to see what they had for medical loans. -Supposedly they might have a better interest rate.

Monday will be full of contacting credit unions/banks to see what they offer and hopefully getting one instead of going thru SRM(seattle reproductive medicine). I will also be contacting the RN to see when I can start the meds. OOOOOHHHH planning. I love this road that we are on. I can not wait to be a mother.